Today, i got a presentation on the ethic subject...
as usual did not do well...got stuck in the middle, just went blank at the moment!!!
right after i finished my sentences, i suddenly forgot what's next....
the worst is i totally have no idea what i have just said, so i can't think of what to say next~
i was so upset about this...
at first, it was so smooth!!
i just duno why at that moment, i got nervous...my hand starts shaking and my heart pounds so fast~
urgh!!! i hate this~
when u are expecting something good to happens, and it goes well at first,
but it drags you down out of the blue where you can't control the situation...i feels suck!!
And when the lecture spilled out the word "VERY DISAPPOINTING", there's another stabbed right into your heart!!! and even at the end of the comment, he still saying the -VE COMMENT, at least he has to say something to encourage us like " at least you all try your best"
No matter what, this very simple, easy encouragement will at least make us feel better after hearing those negative comments~
what i can said is the lecture expected to much on us, so there's a big disappoinment.
The lecture expect us to talk without holding a script,
but for me, not living in the English educated environment, no matter what, i still need a script to help me
standing in front without fear is already big problem to me
how can u expect us not to hold a script in front in this fright situation. my mind will just blank out eventually.
by the way, i knew i need to overcome this problem, the confidence.
The problem will solved once you have the guts to speak out, even in broken english.
and i think this is why i cant do this.
i care so much about how others justify me, i am so care about my images in the others.
I hate this much as well,
i try to be brave but every times when i wanted to try, i reluctant again and of course i failed to do so at last!
I AM SO DESPERATE RIGHT NOW =(((
however, life still goes on, will having AnP mid term test and Metabolic biochem quiz on thursday and friday.
and on sunday, will be going for the Discovery of science day trip' organised by BSS. and i will be free from test for 2 weeks. TEST only, there's still lot of assignments and 1 campaign at behind .BTW, I am waiiting for the moment to come!!
This sem is totally tortured me out, lack of sleep everyday. But i hope i can changed myself in this HARD situation.
不要抱怨你的世界为何沒有阳光，
你要做的，只是打开心门，走出来，
主动靠近始终蔚蓝的天空
