messed up

i thought everything will be fine 

but i realised it now, 

i'm wrong!!!!!!

i said that i will be ok without you, that was just rubbish!!!

i've been thinking a lot of things happened btw us, got into crys and emotioness these few days

i know you the the first guy that make me have no ideas on why could i get angry for the same person for such a long time, 

willng to stay in touch with, 

willing to change for everything that you said

i have to said that i am not good in socializing and i am lazy with dealing with people 

but i have no idea of why you are the one that make me look like mad people and not who am i in the past

there is no reason and possible explanation 

 

however,

every times something drove me angry, you are the one who willing to let me put all my anger on you

every times something frustrated me, you are the only guy who will comfort me and we together will overcome it

i knew it, in all way that you are always right 

and i am the one who always wrong

especially when i am angry, i will not budge and even blind to the true reason, there is no any one explanation that could change my mind

you are the guy who will choose, fake to relent and concede to me and make it like i am always doing the right things.

i had a super duper bad temper and even stubborn thinking,

and i  knew sometimes it wore you down, it had irritated you for a few times

sometimes you did 'explore', and finally we went into a fight 

there is an 'always' which you are the one who comes back to me, pamper me.

but this time is the exception.

these few days, 

i did think about it thoroughly

i'm sorry about what i've said that day 

i know i was wrong badly this time, this time i beg you with your big forgiving heart 

i did L you so much ,until i cant withstand the consequences

i cried badly on what you told me on the phone,

i owe you so much n i make your life become more difficult and difficult

i could never be the ideal girl for you and you will be never be an ideal boy for me too

there must be some tolerate and some patience to be good to each other

but the truth is i did L you, i can confirm this will not change for me and same to you as well at this moment

i tried to pick up the phone but i did not have the courage to dail the number

i am lost ,totally lost.

i need you now, can you come back for me once again?

can i have this dance?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

semester 3 start, 

i did realised that this sem wasn't easy for me

usually the first lecture was the most relaxeable lecture but it is not the sam this semester

i start to feel the heavy burden on my shoulder now

i know i should study hard from now 

but i have no mood on it until i settle all my things

and i will not doing any promise fro myself anymore

i realised that everytime i make a promise but i never done it

it is just a way of forcing myself

therefore i am changing a bit the way of my study style this sem 

here the drawing that i drew this whole semester break and i want to do it another bigger size again 

i started to fall in love with these stuff so from now on i have to save money in order to buy this~

okay, its late again, 

i couldn't sleep well these few days

my eyebag is growing larger and larger

i am not good !!!

分享

在面子书看到了一篇文章

其中我最喜欢这两句了（highlighted)

【不会哄女朋友的男人们，看看看看、学学学学！】

1.如果你的女朋友在你面前哭了，无论什么原因，请抱紧她，再反抗也要抱紧，趴在桌子上永远没有在你怀里安心；

2.如果你的女朋友指出了你的不是，请不要总是嫌她唠叨，若不是因为在乎她不会说你；

3.如果你的女朋友和你赌气不理你，不要也学她，这正是考验你们的时候，“脸皮厚”的精神此时不发扬又更待何时；

4.如果你的女朋友不听你的话，转身走了，一定要追上她，若真的还爱着，丢下她一个人你又如何放心呢；

5.如果你的女朋友说“你走吧，我不想理你了”，千万不要相信，女人最是口是心非，其实那是她最需要你的时候；

6.如果你的女朋友生气了，说心情不好不想吃饭，千万不要问她想干吗想吃什么，她一定说什么都不要，买好你记忆里她最爱吃的东西（最好是有包装的，这样等她心情好了再吃也不会冷），但一定不要以自己也不吃来威胁她；

7.如果你的女朋友对你们说狠话，请保持三秒钟不说话，然后搂过她的肩，笑笑说：“老婆，你讲话的声音真可爱！”

珍惜你们的女朋友，不要把她们想的坏想的复杂，女人要的永远最简单！

她忙碌的时候不一定就是充实，或许只是因为寂寞，所以，如果你爱上她，就不要怕打扰她；

她跟你吵架时不一定就是真有事，而是想撒娇没找对途径，错误的以为这样你就会注意到她；

吵完架不要给她时间冷静，实际上她一点也不需要冷静，她需要你跟她说话哄哄她；

她想哭时先不要问原因，而是在任何时候任何状态下，都先给她一个肩膀让她有依靠；

她不知道该怎么办时就喜欢说分手，多半都是在以退为进，尽管常常让自己没有了下台阶；

她整天跟你唠叨个没完时，是因为她还在爱你愿意与你分享，女人不爱的方式，才是沉默；

她成了“黄脸婆”的原因常是因为沮丧，而这种沮丧一定和你的爱有关，所以，也就能够改变；

她梦想一些不切合实际的浪漫时，不要粗暴地打断她，如果连梦想也枯萎的女人更可怕；

大多数时候她都是动态的，你也千万别总是静态，相处时你们更需要互动，哪怕是争执不休；

女人都是水做的，所以情愿热着她也别冷着她，不然一过了零度她就会结成了冰，最终冻着你；

她有时候需要听一些谎言，比如要你说什么你就说什么，在你不脸红的情况下说到她脸红；

她烦闷的时候最不喜欢一个人待着，这时候她是不会嫌你烦的，你越跟她缠绵她心里就越好受；

当她吃醋的时候可不是好玩的，最有效的办法还是让她无醋可吃，要不在醋缸里淹死的可是你；

女人的眼泪并不都是珍珠，但你一定每次都把它们当成珍珠，这样她才会变得连哭都很吝啬；

她说得话你可以适当忽略，但在她需要你的时刻请陪在她身边，这常常可以让她回味一辈子；

女人都是感性的，所以常会做出一些你认为弱智的事情，也正因为如此，她才需要你的提醒与呵护；

不是所有的女人做了母亲后都会长大和变得坚强，所以，正确教育孩子的重任常常是在你的肩膀上；

她骂你的时候是因为爱你，她打你的时候也是因为爱你，这一点上和男人的表现刚好完全相反；

温柔的女人也会有脾气，坚强的女人也会有脆弱，独立的女人也会有固执，你选择了她就请承担她！

另外，还有另一篇

不能copy只好share link

http://www.sharing.my/note/?p=5792

wish?

yup,
sem breaks gonna end soon
it is just a wink of an eye
there is another journey to begin

before the journey begin
there are still a lot of thing that i need to prepare
i need to find another new 'home'
i need to find out my own interest
n of course the most important thing
i need to adjust my attitude, my own viewing point
i should not be too pessimistic, i should be more optimistic
but anyway
i am stil who i am
 i am stil the one that eveyone knew

during this semester break
i done something that i always said but din't even do it once
i completed an oil painting which i wish to draw it long long ago
although it is just an DIY oil painting, but at least that a good start
it is just like the colouring we did it when we were in kindergarden
but it is the advanced of that,
there are many tiny tiny parts, n because of this small small part
it took 1 week of time to complete it
i feel so grate when i done this
i am so proud to say this because
i used to do it half way everytime.
at least i had completed this time
hope that there is more money for me to buy another bigger one
i want to draw more n hang on the wall
i love to see my bedroom is full of my drawing

dream room of mine

i hope i can own a drawing stand n a drawing space for me to draw


beside drawing actually i love music too
unfortunately there is a small fault when i was a child
at the age of 9 ,i was asked to take a short break by the piano teacher
 because of i do not practise much at home n i failed to play a song nicely
after a month the piano teacher ask me whether want to continue or not
n i strisghtly refuse to continue to attend piano class
because of this i do not have any chance to learn piano anymore
when i was at the age 12, i started to regret what i done that time
i started to search online for the piano sheet n learn myself
as i learnt some theory before so i knew a little bit of how to read the note
but it is a hard journey
normally a single song will took 2 months for me to learn it fully n play smoothly
such as canon in D major i learnt this song for about 2 months n 3 weeks almost 3 month
sometimes i really give up, but there is still a small dream in my heart
so till now i still keep practise
n i used this 2 weeks to learn a song
it is a popular song sang by 胡夏named 那些年
is quite long (6 pages)
n till now i am still at page 2
haha, because i almost forget everything ,
i need to remind some finger skill n some theory part
i hope that one day i really can play well
of course there are classes for piano lesson in kampar but too expensive for me
i don't want to burden my parent, the school fees is already a large amount for them

he is one of my idol

this is another dream room of mine

okie,
done with my dreaming piano,drawing is time to wake up~
back to realities,anyway i will upload the oil painting that i completed soon
good night everyone~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 a day means a year for me now

everything will be fine

i will be strong 

smiles =)

意见

最终我们还是站在分岔路

你有你要走的路，而我也有我要走的路

既然彼此都不能妥协

那就放手吧

有时候挽留不一定是好事

学会放手，不见得是坏事

你我的承诺，你我的梦想

你我的时空，你我的世界

是时候结束了

没有谁对谁错

只怪我们俩都太倔强

金牛座的我们本来就是这样

这段时间对你亏欠的太多了

原谅我的情绪化，

原谅我的孩子气

原谅我的任性

谢谢你的包容

谢谢你的耐心

谢谢你对我所做的一切

这事来得并不突然，

只是没想到会那么快

告诉自己，一些都会过去的

可是说不会不舍得那是假的！！

what if there is another road?

大波浪

怎么办？
我越想越怕！！！
有谁可以给我说句话？
就告诉我，一切都会顺利的，会没事的！！！

我现在的心里，除了不安还是不安
而且还比上次来得强烈！！
发抖；睡不安；很痛苦；很气馁
我很想哭，可是就是没有眼泪！！

快找个安静的角落，让我飙泪吧？
怎么办？我该怎么办？
早知如此，何必当初呢？
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2011 已成过去式，2012 才是现在式
2011 的我好像不怎么好，也不怎么坏
就有上有下~
可是现在我的愿望只有一个
请老天保佑，让我顺顺利利度过这关~

pray for me please!!!!