insomia~

this few days~

insomia kept follow me

not able to get into sleep even it's 3am!!!

i hate it

but i duno how to do

i drink a warm water before sleep

(should be a warm milk~but i dun really like milk so much)

i really dun like this~

it's makes my eye bag bigger and bigger

it's makes my panda eye moreclearer

it's destroying my healthy

i dun really like this holiday

it should be an enjoyable holiday

but seem like i din't enjoy that much

loneliness is the only feeling i can feel now

in this holiday, i dun really meet with any friends not even one

i used to be a very active person

i love outdoor activities, i love makes friends around

but i dun really have an intimate friends

how to say that?

i used to trust a friend before

she was a best friend ever i met

but through days and days

i found out that i was wrong

we used to be so good is just an illusion

there is so much different between us

one of it she is trully a " Hikikomori“  宅女

but i  like outing........bla bla bla

i cant express out by words(i duno how to express it out)

just feel that we are not the same at all

i cant share my things to her,i felt uncomfortable when i am with her now

for me, she is too selfish.....

maybe i should say she is too直率

she din't care any people opinion(this is the one i opt to learn from her, but  i just so care about it)

she can say out anythings if she dun like it

and she is too subjective

in a way that i just can't bear on this

she thinks that we will follow her opinion(her family member's will tolerate)

but we wont

i just hate to tolerate to her anymore

why  do i must the do thing that she like?

why should i stay at home everyday?

why cant i make my friends?

why should u just like my shadow~please leave me for a second~

i am tired of this life~

this 1 year really changes me

i am now a computer addict

i used to be very talkative but now i talk less

i hate this kind of myself~